I am doll eyes, Doll mouth, Doll legs, I am doll arms, Big veins, Dog bait, Yea they really want you, They really want you, They really do, Yea they really want you, They really want you, But I do too, I want to be the girl with the most cake, I love him so much he just turns to hate 2004-05-17 6:09 p.m. qi figured out why i am so uncomfortable while people are around in my home space... I am at constant fear that people are judging me, i set this imaginary bar and i expect myself to reach above and beyond it. I get closterphobic when someone is in the room with me while I watch tv. except kurt. i tighten, shrink and remain silent.

I also have been thinking, maybe my depression comes from post pardum depression.... that is, sad that i am detached from my mother.that deep down subconciously i desire to be back in my mother. so close to her, that i try to live up to her expectations, even deep down try to be her. I think depression begins at the early stages of our development. when we have trouble separating from our mother and have separation anxiety, even our food supply is hard to ween us off of, we have to establish trust from the beginning, and trust is earned through touch..mothers holding their young,nursing them and rocking them. The less your mother 'babied' you, the more distant the two of you grew and thus the harder you have to try to gain the closeness again. Your whole life you struggle to be 'inside' her and you never can. Depression comes from that underlying feeling of never meeting up to expectations.

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- - 2004-05-23
depression started the day you were born - 2004-05-17
me, myself and I. In a nutshell, cracked in half. - 2004-05-17
just a blabber - 2004-04-29
companion, crutch - 2004-04-23

My Diary new older about me leave me a note mail aim *guestbook* **Pics of Me** layout diaryland Courtney Love Can you deal? Characters Hey hey! .. =) So here it is: Erin: Me! Blonde hair, green eyes, 5'1. I live in Lindenhurst,NY-Long Island baby! I love to listen to music, party, hang out with my friends and my boyfriend. My favorite food is Pasta. I love summer and going to the beach for tanning of course. Random facts: -I have a cat named Izzy and one named Smokey I like to buy new shampoo and conditioner as often as possible -Kurt and I have been together for 5+years I won't let my daughter(when I have one) play with Barbies -As a child I lived on Spegghetios -I was born in Palm Beach Gardens,Fl. -I'm very creative -I wanna go back to school for Creative Arts Therapy -I love rain and thunderstorms I used to model when i was young and want to do it again -I hate my feet -I love the smell of fresh cut grass, and gasoline -when I was little I was afraid of knives -I'm obsessed with Courtney love -My friends call my "erbear",you're a special friend if you call me Er -I've always loved People say I am: a)creative b)intuitive c)I look like mena suvari =). Buh bye! .**Erin**. moon phases � My Mood**always SugarComa SNOOP these peeps barbie07 noelanii beautiful08 brittybaby perceptionss sugarbabylon carmen4ever free2dream glittercaz hotkisses69 teen-mother