I can pinpoint breif reflections, although they will seem trivial in short form, bits and pieces.
-intution can be found and followed by asking the most miniscual questions to your inner self. little questions like What was that noise outside? Was it the car starting up? within seconds my intution told me the answer. NOT reason or LOGIC!
-togetherness of my relationship can be achieved by duplicating the atmosphere in which the relationship started. This came to me twice. once last night while sober. On the couch I was laughing at all of his insensitive, yet hilarious jokes and the misfortune of others. It dawned on me. We use to laugh at this together on the same level. When did it turn to me being disapointed that one could be at this level? When did I grow up, perhaps?But relaxing, taking his jokes with stride, cutting jokes back at him, laughing at other people, diggin the gross stuff.. is all a part of our fun dynamic. It came to me again when i was staring at him in his room, high and realizing that we could just chill like we use to freshman year, but if we are both high we can do 'nothing' spiritually together. If its just him who is high, it is JUST like freshman year and I ALWAYS WILL SEE HIM FOR AFUN LOVING PERSON, because he was always high and I wasn't (i was seeing clearly his presented distortion of himself.) or if we are both sober then we in essence see reality and cannot function peacefully in a real state. It works but its not as exhuberant.
-I realized at one point how beautiful my boyfriend sees me, inside and out and to disregard any other female.. that my strength around them is what his intution picks up on and if it is strong, it is what he is proud of and looking for. In other words , he can sense if I am weak/jealous around other females and althought they are pretty as well, it makes them come out as winners!!! I realized while high, the same exact thing, to love thyself and thy will be loved.
there is soo much more. .. it is amazing how you can guide your thoughts into purposeful rhealms.
- - 2004-05-23
depression started the day you were born - 2004-05-17
me, myself and I. In a nutshell, cracked in half. - 2004-05-17
just a blabber - 2004-04-29
companion, crutch - 2004-04-23
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My Diary
new older about me aim *guestbook* **Pics of Me** layout diaryland Courtney Love  Can you deal?
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Hey hey! .. =) So here it is:Erin: Me! Blonde hair, green eyes, 5'1. I live in Lindenhurst,NY-Long Island baby! I love to listen to music, party, hang out with my friends and my boyfriend. My favorite food is Pasta. I love summer and going to the beach for tanning of course. Random facts: -I have a cat named Izzy and one named Smokey I like to buy new shampoo and conditioner as often as possible -Kurt and I have been together for 5+years I won't let my daughter(when I have one) play with Barbies -As a child I lived on Spegghetios -I was born in Palm Beach Gardens,Fl. -I'm very creative -I wanna go back to school for Creative Arts Therapy -I love rain and thunderstorms I used to model when i was young and want to do it again -I hate my feet -I love the smell of fresh cut grass, and gasoline -when I was little I was afraid of knives -I'm obsessed with Courtney love -My friends call my "erbear",you're a special friend if you call me Er -I've always loved People say I am: a)creative b)intuitive c)I look like mena suvari =). Buh bye! .**Erin**. | |||
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